Sunday, April 5, 2009

Structuring the Glide Path...huh?

Ok. It's time to talk about what happened on Thursday.

I was called in for a one-day temp job to "work the mic for a Q&A" at a conference. I was supposed to be there at 6:45 am and would be done at 6:30 pm, just in time for the show. And I was to wear a suit. That much I knew going in.

I was so nervous about not being late I barely slept the night before. But when I rolled out of bed at 4:30 that morning, it wasn't too hard since I was never really asleep! I even arrived 15 minutes early!

Here's where I was headed, to the 134 seat boardroom...if the music doesn't get you goin', I don't know what will.

I still didn't know what exactly this event was. Some sort of conference I guess. The first job they gave me was to distribute one green piece of paper and one pink piece of paper on each chair, and one white piece of paper at each place at the tables. I had a feeling this job was going to be simple, I had no idea how simple exactly, though. When they handed me the papers it was as though I was going into surgery, that there was something serious at stake, and it needed to be done ASAP.

Guess what? I did it with flying colors. whoopdeedoo. The best part of the whole process was that while I was doing it, this woman in her fancy suit was preparing her notes and reading over the conference program, "wow! it's like showbiz!" oh man.

THEN, I arranged sponsor materials and packets into neat displays on the tables. At this point I still have no idea what the conference was about. I knew, at the very least, it had something to do with investments. And man, the materials I was organizing were just line graphs and folders and handouts. ONE company was giving out pens. That was it. Don't these people know it's all about the free samples?

Then came the microphone training. My job, the job I was hired to do based on my "performance background", the job that they had to hire two people to do, was this:

When someone raises their hand, you hand them a microphone.

that's it. Thank you, UVA, thank you, NKU, for those 8 years of higher education, preparing me for this magical moment. if they only knew...

So, for the rest of the day, I sat in the back of the conference room. It was around 9 am, that I finally sat down and thought I would learn about what I was attending:

The 2009 Custom Target Date Summit
brought to you by Pensions & Investments.


No, seriously, what does that even mean?

Suffice it to say, by 9:30, I almost fell out of my chair from boredom. Imagine my glee when I learned we got free coffee and pastries from the reception table. I drank no less than 4 cups of coffee and two bagels that morning. ah, free I heart you.

Yes, I handed out the microphone with the style and grace you might anticipate. I even ran across the room at certain points to make sure no one got their powersuit in a bunch. I am now an expert at microphone control, swiftly navigating the sea of grey blazers and blackberries.

At the end of the day, and even as I type this, I still have no idea what was going on in that room. What I do know is that these people are benefitting from this recession. They manage investments and give advice to the scared rich people. The worse the economy gets, the more necessary these people are. hmmm...

By the end of the day, I had drank 10 cups of coffee, eaten a free lunch, and three cookies and had a massive tension headache. I wandered my way over to the theatre and as I sat on the bus to the theater, I was stuck with such eagerness to do the show. As soon as I walked in, I felt the spring in my step, the joy in my heart, and the pride in my path. I was in the right field...and I was wrong about before. The worse the economy gets, the more necessary artists are. Because otherwise we'd all drown in all the financial douchebagery.

nothin' but a sea of grey blazers and blackberries...with my little optimistic sailboat riding the wave...I'm so thankful for this day.

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