In some ways, i can't wait. In some ways i'm scared out of my mind. i need to find a job and some cashflow. i need to make friends. i need to charm the city. all of these things are possible and things i have done before. i'm sorta just itching to get up there and get started.
One of the most exciting parts about the past couple weeks has been the friendship i've begun here in Charlottesville. Its very pleasant and so long overdue. and yes, its just a friendship. I enjoy talking to him and i have to believe that he enjoys talking to me. in some ways he's more emotionally available than some of my other favorite people, but on the other hand, he's difficult to read and a little bit, as he would say, capricious. i haven't made a friend the old-fashioned way in a long time, that being outside of school or camp...and outside of a compressed situation. its fun and fancy but i don't know when we'll meet again. i'm assuming i'll just let time figure that out. i also think that the way all this came about is different from ordinary acquaintances. From the beginning we had a weirdish history in a way, and clicked.
its inspiring and hopeful, because it means i really can make friends in my new place. corny, yes...but i think that's one of the biggest and oldest fears people have when they move to a new town, new school, new world. will people like me? will i be able to make friends? and of course, when met with a similar question, we all respond to that neurotic individual with a resounding YES but when its you...wandering in the nebulus unknown?...feels a little more scary and ooshygooshy. i remember when our dear friend h-mo went home for thanksgiving after her first few months of successful friend-making at a new college...and she worried, openly, if, when she got back from thanksgiving break, people would still like her. we still did and the story sounds silly, i'm sure...but i don't know that lots of other people haven't worried about similar things privately.
about the URL: i'm heading out into the brave unknown. I'm leaving this familiar pond and its not a bigger pond i'm headed for...its open water. i'm an elephant at sea, like modoc, swimming my way through the uncertainties. its a fantastic book, MODOC, if you're ever in need of a good read.
i hope i don't rhyme this much in the future.
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