Saturday, August 16, 2008

wone-wee

i don't know why its easier to say wone-wee than lonely but it is and i almost am...

its a new city...new people...new everything.  I don't have a job.  it seems at the moment i have less than not a job meaning two failed interviews.
  
i always thought interviewed well.  maybe they smelled my desperation.

regardless, i need a job.  i do have one job working as a server at a nearby mediterranean restaurant, which is fun, as i 've never served before.  i'm just feeling so overwhelmed by it all.  there are so many restaurants in chicago that i don't know where to begin...well, i mean, i did BEGIN...its just now how to continue when i'm so tired and feeling so uphillish...

interview #1: at an evanston cafe where she serves 90% organic food. its just her making all the food and serving it up.  i'd be perfect for it.  but she hasn't gotten back to me yet(i'll be penning the follow-up email as soon as i'm done lamenting...i think better once i've evacuated my whine energy)...downside: she can't pay me the wage i need...but i'm willing to patchwork around it because it sounds like just the right thing...the other downside is that its in evanston and not here but i'm halfway between downtown and evanston ANYWAY...

interview #2: SUPER FANCY restaurant in lincoln park called me up for a "stage".  that's where you go in and essentially work a shift in the kitchen and they see if you "fit".  its sorta the weirdest thing ever because its not like you know their menu ahead of time or how they do things.  you basically spend 6 hours(or at least i did) picking up their recipes on the fly...and trying not get in the way...while still looking like you know what you're doing.  i peeled more cherry tomatoes than i care to mention...but i did peel them all AND cut up a bunch of other stuff EXACTLY the way they wanted it AND plate about 5-6 different things...its not easy...but its not hard...its just complicated...and complicated further by the fact that i didn't go to culinary school so i have no idea what exactly is expected of me NOR do i have my own knives...CORRECTION: nor do i have my own fancy knives.  just a couple ikea knives i keep around for my own enjoyment.

whatever, i totally represented.  and it would pay well...though it is about the same distance away as evanston...and the exec chef kinda drove me crazy.  i wonder if i'd be happy in a job where there seems to be almost no positive feedback or recognition.  Nor is there any moment of customer interaction where they can openly appreciate you.  for some people all that crap might not matter but it does help to motivate me if i know i'm being successful in satisfying someone.

they'll let me know in a week. *sigh*

i'm going to, i think, go to a temp agency on Monday and get signed up.  i don't have office experience but i'm smart enough to run a copy machine and stuff envelopes.  and i know how to type, obviously.

i know it'll get better, i know it'll be ok.  i know i'll meet people and have just the most enviable fantastic life soon enough.  right now, i feel like the city itself is my friend.  the people in the city barely see me.  but the city seems to be on my side.  the energy of the place embraces me...even if it can't give me a job.

special moment of the day: For the first time ever i was about ten feet away from public masturbation.  Man on the El, wearing sweat pants...sits down at the front of the car where no one else is...holds up a newspaper and starts casually touching his junk through the sweat pants...a few  moments later, it develops into full-on rhythmic stroking...i sneaked a peak and saw the movement...but i could hear the movement as well.  and later, when other people boarded our car and sat in his area, he got off our car and walked up the platform to board another car.  i know this because i didn't see him on the platform as the train passed...he, apparently, needed his privacy.

oh Chicago...

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